I went to work in the morning yesterday, and when I got back I went on a mission. My computer monitor had stopped working and I went to a computer shop that reeked of smoke. The only man there was a very skinny person who had a very thick hillbilly accent. I bought a monitor that was in a back room for 25 bucks. After that was done I went to the large grocery store across the road to look for a contact lens case for my mother.

I wandered dizzily through aisles of shampoo and “shower gels,” past whole walls dedicated to hair color products. There are so many heartburn and allergy medicine stocked that I just wandered past in a daze and tried not to be mesmerized by the colorful boxes.

Eventually I found what I wanted and got out of the store (or should I call it a consumeristic trap?).

Today it’s raining—spoiling dad’s plans to move the sheep to some better grazing. My Amtrak ticket to Lancaster came the other day and I scheduled a doctors appointment for Monday and everything is sounding more and more final. Sometimes I’ve been listening to this Bob Dylan song as I fall asleep:

While riding on a train going west,

I fell asleep for to take my rest,

I dreamed a dream that made me sad,

Concernin’ myself and the first few friends I had.

With half-damp eyes I stared to the room,

Where my friends and I spent many an afternoon,

Where we together weathered many a storm,

Laughin’ and singin’ till the early hours of the morn.

By the old wooden stove where our hats was hung,

Our words were told, our songs was sung,

Where we longed for nothin’ and were satisfied,

Talkin’ and jokin’ about the world outside.

With hungry hearts through the heat and cold,

We never much thought we would get very old.

We thought we could sit forever in fun,

While our chances really was a million to one.

As easy it was to tell black from white,

It was all that easy to tell wrong from right,

And our choices they was few and the thought never hit

That the one road we traveled would ever shatter or split.

How many a year has passed and gone,

Many a gamble has been lost and one,

And many a road taken by many a friend,

And each one I’ve never seen again.

I wish, I wish, I wish in vain,

That we could sit simply in the room again,

Ten thousand dollars at the drop of a hat,

I’d give it all gladly if our lives could be like that.

I’m not sure if I’m being overly sentimental here. I mean, that’s something I like to mock when I’m telling people to live in the here and now. But it seems that I can apply this song to so many friends and so many situations in so many locations. Ah well, alackaday.

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