Two out of the last four nights have been restless and nearly sleepless for me. It turns me into a person that longs for lunchtime and the nap that accompanies it. I’ve been asking myself, “Why can’t I sleep?” I’m awake at night, lying in bed, turning and restless, thinking. “Thinking of what?” you might ask. Thinking of deadlines that are fast approaching; of the end of my listening and speaking class next week; of the visit from Dan Wessner and the EMU students; of going home. I’ll be home in eight months. Yes, I’ll be home. It’s a confusing concept to me now. I feel well-settled here in Long Xuyen. I have everything I could ask for here. I’m happy here. But I will be going home at the end of this year. Home to drive in cars, drink from the tap, and use shower curtains once again. Home to where I can’t spit in restaurants and yell at the waiters and waitresses. It’s eight months away but I’m nervous already. I won’t know what to do, I won’t know how to act. Things have changed at home as they have changed for me here. Ohio, at this point, is more like “home” to me now. I was born there, I went to college there, but now it’s like some distant, abstract concept. At times, when a student or colleague asks me a question about something in Ohio, I feel like I have no authority to speak about it. What if it’s different now? Unfortunately things aren’t static. I’ll have to pack my three years into two suitcases in a few short months.

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