Well, another few months have gone by and another friend has disappeared from Long Xuyen. This time it was Sabrina. We were the only two single foreigners of about the same age in town this summer. And then she disappeared into the vacuum of the airport in Ho Chi Minh City, like so many other cool people that I’ve met here. It just gets tiring, saying farewell to so many people over the years. I’m tired of doing it, and if my estimations are correct, I will be the next person saying goodbye–en masse–to numerous friends and an entire country. I don’t want to think about it, but I can’t stop thinking about it either. Now I’m concerned that I won’t put anything into my work during this final semester and just try to float along until that flight home into the cold.
I was talking to a good Vietnamese friend yesterday, and said that I couldn’t believe that I was only here for three more months, and of course he said that if I was gone he’d be very sad. And then I woke up early in the pitch blackness of a power cut to the sound of Lillian knocking on my door to wake me up to exercise. The power being out is just one more thing that has been continually annoying me over the past few weeks, and every time it cuts out I mutter under my breath how much I hate this place. It’s feelings like these that make me wonder if I’m actually being useful here at this point, or just surviving, or just pressing on.